I am me...my own person, and I live for the life that I was cut for and educated to lead; my silversmithing, piano tuning, and many other things I do in life. Admittedly, I'm not someone who takes setbacks and adversity with a lot of aplomb and grace, and never have been.

My silversmithing is important to me, but the kind of location that I'm in is equally important. While most people willingly sacrifice location for living situations, I tend to place a much higher importance on place, as many, if not most other people with my past tend to do. If, for example, H had to make the horrific choice of giving up my livelihood or moving somewhere else, mainly to a much more suburban or rural area, I would not choose to go gently into the night.

I'm also not somebody who's ever been interested in putting oneself and her life on the line for anything or anyone. While I may think, talk and pontificate about stuff that goes on here in the United States and abroad, I am neither an Amy Biehl or a Rachel Corrie, and have never aspired to be anything as such. Both of their deaths were tragic...and needless. One was unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, while the other, somewhat naively, supplanted herself singley in front of a huge, heavy moving bulldozer to make a point...and also ended up dead.

It's hard to know what was accomplished in the wake of Amy Biehl's tragic and untimely death..at the age of 26, but, I do believe that, in the case of Rachel Corrie, her tragic and untimely death (at age 23) accomplished little to nothing; the young woman is dead, the house she was trying to protect was bulldozed anyway, and it's business as usual over in the Middle East between Israel and the Palestinians, if one gets the drift.

Granted, there are people in the United States and throughout the world who have put their limbs/lives on the on for things that they've felt strongly about, and have also been necessary. Some have survived, while others haven't. I knew a man who was in the French Resistance, who, during the time that the Nazis occupied France, hid Jews in his house...at great risk to his life. That's something I can truly admire, because it's way different than supplanting oneself in front of a piece of heavy moving machinery, and because he was actually saving other human beings. Although he passed away fairly recently (a year ago last fall), this still resounds in my memory... this man was a true hero.

On the other hand, however, G. W. Bush's putting our own men and women soildiers, not to mention Iraqis at risk, resulting in the needless killling, maiming and sickening of tons of people on both sides...Iraqi civilians and soldiers and American soldiers alike.. is not heroic, but extremely arrogant, irresponsible, selfish and foolhardy.

While I 'm of the belief that there's nothing heroic about supplanting oneself in front of a huge, heavy 60-1000 tone hung of moving metal machinery (also witness David Wilson, who back in the mid-1980's, sat in front of a train to make a point, getting run over, and surviving but losing both legs) to make a point and ending up killed or maimed in the process, I believe that, unlike G. W. Bush with his Iraq pollcy, Biehl, Corrie and Wilson all had the best of intentions. They were idealistic people who truly believed that they could make a difference in the world, and tried to do so. Two of them met with tragic and untimely deaths, and the other was permanently and seriously injured. That being said, I believe that these tragic incidents show that, in addition to indicating the horrific results of war, and racial strife, they also show that activism has its limits as to how far it can be taken.

There are people who claim that one who never, ever really puts his/herself on the line for anything has never really lived. If that's that case, is it really necessary to take dangerous risks to be deemed as someone who's "alive", so to speak? Frankly, I find that such thinking goes against my grain, given the fact that I, too, fought a personal war on my own level (with lots of help from my wonderfully loving, supportive and stable family) to overcome developmental, learning and communication difficulties. This brings up another question; Is a person who refuses to take really dangerous risks any less "alive" than people who block rush-hour traffic on busy main thoroughfares to protest our government's pollicies, risking arrest, beatings, jailtime, or a person who supplants him/herself in front of a pieces of heavy moving metal machinery to make a point and ends up killed or maimed in the process? No. I honestly don't believe so.